The 1st time I went climbing

I can still recall the first time I went climbing. The excitement, the curiosity, the sheer terror that pumped through me as I stood wondering how was I going to navigate these alien, multi-coloured holds and get to the top, what would happen if I fell?  And how on earth, if I managed to reach the top, was I going to get back down?!

All these questions were undoubtedly explained to me by my instructor and might of offered some level of comfort to me if I hadn't been distracted by thinking of all the ways I could meet my untimely end. I had never realised that I had a fear of heights and/or falling to my death until that day and the sudden awareness was not at all welcome.

Nevertheless I had nodded my way through the safety instructions and was all tied in and ready to go. I approached the first hold, said a silent prayer and began my ascent in the graceful manner of a floundering, hyperactive elephant.

The more I climbed, the more worried I became that I would fall. My feet had decided that the wall might look better with a few more holes in it and my fingers tried desperately to bury themselves into each piece of rainbow plastic that I made a panicked lunge for. It was noisy, clumsy and fraught with fear.

  After a lot of coaxing, shouting, bribery, 'there's a beer in it for you' and begging I finally reached the top! I had done it! I was a panting, sweaty mess but I was clutching this beautiful, reassuringly massive, juggy hold in victory! Check me out! 

Wait a minute... now I had to come back down!

"Now just lean back in your harness, feet flat against the wall and let go of the hold"

"Ermmm... you want me to do what now?"

Let go. Not really the words you want to hear when your 15m up and clinging onto a hold so hard your knuckles are threatening to tear through your skin. Tentatively I straightened my legs, which had severe disco fever, placed my feet flat against the wall...but couldn't bring myself to let go of the hold. 

I stayed in this flattering pose for a good few minutes yelling at my instructor that I was going to fall if I let go.

"You will not fall, I promise you"

"I'm going to fall, I'm going to fall and I'm going to DIE"

On the word of a promise from a man I barely knew I did eventually relinquish my iron grip on the hold, letting out uncertain yelps of distrust as I did so. I proceeded to stumble down the wall in an ungainly abseil and took that time to reflect on the past 30 minutes.

 Sure I had been annoyed, terrified, frustrated, terrified, embarrassed, terrified...but boy, the rush when I had made it to the top! The adrenaline, pride, sheer happiness and sense of achievement had been worth the trade in sweat, tears and terror - I felt amazing.

And just like that I was hooked.

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